What I Can Protect
by LovelyOdette
Summary: When tragedy falls, it will take one little boy to open his father's heart again and one father to realize 'what he can protect.'
1. Prologue

What I Can Protect

**A/N: **Hey guys! I'm back from a very long hiatus on this story. Between the real world and writer's block, the story got away from me. But I fully intend to finish this story. So I'm re-uploading this chapter and the next with some small changes, then I hope to have more regular updates till this story is finished. I hope you enjoy!

To help set the mood, I would recommend listening to either 'Dearest (Instrumental Version)' from Inuyasha or 'Intermezzo' from Cavalleria Rusticana.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and I never will.**

Prologue

_"There is a curious paradox_ _that no one can explain. Who understands the secret of the reaping of the grain? Who understands why spring is born out of winter's laboring pain, or why we all must die a bit before we grow again? I do not know the answer. I merely know it's true. I hurt them for that reason. And myself a little bit too." – Narrator from 'The Fantasticks'_

Kenshin greeted the early morning as he always did: with a peaceful smile on his face. It was still hard for him to believe that he had lived at the Kamiya Dojo for three years now. After the defeat of Enishi, Sano had gone to travel the world. Last Kenshin heard, Sano was in Singapore. Megumi had returned to Aizu to continue down the path of medicine. _She always was destined to move away from here_.

Then there was Yahiko. He grew stronger day by day. He passed his genpuku with the greatest amount of pride and had inherited Kenshin's sakabato. From then on, The Kamiya Dojo began to grow and Yahiko began to help Kaoru with teaching lessons. Shortly after Kenshin's marriage to Kaoru, Yahiko moved into Sano's old place; however that didn't stop him from mooching his meals from the dojo.

_Kaoru_. She had given Kenshin more happiness than he had ever felt he deserved. He did have to chuckle at himself. Even after bringing Kaoru back from the island where Enishi had held her captive, Kenshin took his sweet time to finally getting around to actually courting her. Only after two years of living together did they finally marry. _Where did she get the patience to wait so long on a person like me?_ She was without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Morning Kenshin." Kenshin turned his head and saw Kaoru with her big beautiful smile across her face that automatically caused him to smile back. Then his eyes wondered down to the bulge down at her stomach. His smile grew wider. Yes, after months of trying, Kaoru and Kenshin were going to have their first child. "Good Morning Kaoru." His smile faltered a bit. "How are you feeling this morning," a bit of worry in his voice as he asked.

Still with a smile on her face, Kaoru shook her head. "I'm feeling fine Kenshin. You don't have to worry so much. Breakfast will be ready soon, so why don't you go and wake Misao." Kaoru kissed his cheek and headed for the kitchen. "I shall do that then, that I will."

Kenshin couldn't help but worry. During her pregnancy, Kaoru had become sick often and would spend days lying in bed. It was the scariest moment of his life when he found Kaoru collapsed on the dojo floor. After that happened, Kenshin became paranoid enough that he asked Misao to come down and help him and Yahiko with Kaoru and the dojo. Naturally, Misao was more than willing to join them.

Kenshin reached the now 'guest room' where Misao was staying and lightly knocked on the door. "Miss Misao, breakfast will be ready soon, that it will. Please come join us in the kitchen when you are ready" "Alright Himura, be out shortly!" Kenshin smiled and turned to head for the kitchen.

With everyone gathered at the table, it almost felt like the entire Kenshin-gumi was still here. "Aoshi should be arriving here sometime this afternoon Miss Misao. I'm sure he will be excited to see you" stated Kenshin while finishing up his breakfast. "Lord Aoshi! It's been too long since I've been able to see his handsome face" squealed Misao as her eyes began to sparkle at the mention of Aoshi's name.

"And just in time for the beginning of summer," smiled Kaoru, knowing how excited Misao felt. "I heard some people in the market talking about how the fireflies are already coming out at night. Why don't we all go and watch the fireflies tonight? How about it Kenshin?" asked Kaoru as she turned towards her husband. Something gripped in the back of Kenshin's mind.

_Why don't we all come to watch the fireflies tonight Kenshin? Ok? _

His face fell slightly as his chest tightened and became lost in thought. _Why would something like mentioning fireflies make me have this feeling? I haven't felt this anxious since the time I had to leave for Kyo-_

"Kenshin?" Kenshin snapped out of his thoughts only to look up to see Kaoru's worried face. "Is something wrong?" _Damn it. Why must I always cause her so much worry?_ "It's nothing Kaoru. I think it would be just fine to see the fireflies, that I do" said Kenshin as he put on his famous rurouni smile. He could tell that he didn't convince Kaoru and that she wanted to get the answer out of him, but decided against it.

"Then it's settled!" cried out Misao as she jumped up from her seat. "We can go this evening once Lord Aoshi gets here!" Misao then skipped out of the kitchen to go and help out with the chores. Kaoru started to collect the plates, but winced before she could get them all off the table.

"Are you alright Kaoru? Is something wrong?" Kenshin had practically jumped from the table to help his wife. Kaoru once again smiled and shook her head. "I'm fine Kenshin. I think the baby was just kicking a little too hard. Let me to clean the dishes. Why don't you start on the laundry Kenshin?"

"But Kaoru, I thin-"

"Kenshin, please. I will call you if I need you." Reluctant to leave her side, Kenshin nodded and headed outside to start the laundry.

While outside, that dark ominous feeling began to crawl up Kenshin's spine. _What is this horrible feeling? There haven't been any major conflicts in a long time. Maybe I'm finally just losing my sanity._ Just as Kenshin was putting up the last on the laundry, a loud crash came from the kitchen. _Kaoru!_ Kenshin sprinted to find out what was wrong. "Kaoru! What happened? Is everything al-" On the ground was a pale Kaoru, wincing in great pain. "Kenshin" she whimpered. "I-I think it's time."

"Kaoru! What happened? Are you alright?" came in a frantic Misao and Yahiko. Both froze when they saw Kenshin kneeling down to pick Kaoru up. "Misao, Yahiko. Kaoru is going into labor!" a nervous Kenshin almost screamed. "Yahiko, go get Dr. Gensai right away! Misao, help me get Kaoru to our room."

"Right!" yelled both Yahiko and Misao. Yahiko ran at lightning speed down the road to the clinic. Misao helped Kenshin carry Kaoru to her futon and helped to change her clothes while Kenshin went out to get water and some cloths.

Hours had passed and the labor showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. Kaoru's cries of pain were driving Kenshin mad. He had tried many times to go sit by his wife's side, but the nurses kept preventing him from getting inside. He finally settled on the porch in front of Kaoru's door. _It sounds like she is dying in there. Why can't they just let me through and be by her side? _With each cry, Kenshin could only picture the worst possible outcome of this labor. _Why do they have to torment me by making me sit outside?_

"What on earth is going on Battousai?" Kenshin looked up to find Aoshi standing above him. He sighed, "Kaoru went into labor this morning and has been in labor for hours now."

"AAHH! Kenshin!" cried Kaoru's voice from behind the door. It was sickening for Kenshin to listen and be unable to do anything to help the person he cared about the most. His hands started to grip the end of the porch so tightly, he was waiting for the wood to snap in half.

"Kaoru will be fine," stated calm and collected Aoshi. "It is important that you remain calm." _Calm? How can I remain calm at a time like this!?_

The stars where out when Kenshin heard the cry of his child. He had practically run over Aoshi, Misao, and Yahiko and flung open the door to get to Kaoru. Inside, the nurses were finishing cleaning up. "Congratulations Mr. Himura, it's a healthy baby boy." Kenshin's faced calmed a bit after hearing the news. _A son. I have a son._ "Would you like to hold him?" Kenshin could only nod. The nurse then handed Kenshin the new baby wrapped up in a clean cloth. The screaming from the tiny boy had calmed down, and he had started to fall asleep.

"He is probably just as exhausted as your wife." The nurse calmly stated to Kenshin as she walked out. Then Dr. Gensai came up to Kenshin. "Congratulation my boy. The child is perfectly healthy. Kaoru is a very exhausted since she was in labor all day. I am a little concerned about her, so I will be back in about five minutes to check on her." Kenshin quickly looked up from his son's sleeping face to find Kaoru. She was lying on the futon, but was still pale.

She slowly opened her eyes as Kenshin sat down beside her. "Ken-Kenshin." She gave him a small smile and Kenshin gave one right back to her. "Kaoru, our son is beautiful. I'm so proud of you." He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Our little Kenji." Sighed Kaoru as she closed her eyes. "Kenji is it?" Kenshin looked down to see his son sleeping in his arms. He smiled when he saw the small strains of red hair on the top of his head. "I think it suits him very well, that I do." Kenshin kissed his little head, causing Kenji to start to stir and whimper a bit.

"Looks like we will have our hands full with him, that it does" chuckled Kenshin as he looked over at Kaoru. However, panic crept into his face. _Has Kaoru gotten paler?_ "Kaoru?" Kenshin cupped her cheek in his hand. Slowly, Kaoru opened her eyes and raised her hand to cup Kenshin's scarred cheek. "I-I love you- so much Kenshin. I'm so tired. Maybe if I rest a little more-" Kaoru's eyelids were slowly closing. _Could she be…oh Kami no!_ "Kaoru! Kaoru! Look at me!" Kenshin turned quickly. "Dr. Gensai! Someone! Get in here! Something is wrong with Kaoru!" Kenshin had yelled so loud that Kenji had woken up and started to cry again. It was Yahiko who arrived first to his distressed call. "What's wrong Kenshin!" "Himura!" But Kenshin was so wrapped up in attempt to keep Kaoru awake, he didn't hear Yahiko, Misao, or Dr. Gensai run into the room.

Kenshin grabbed the hand that was cupping his cheek. "Stay with me Kaoru. I can't lose you! Please look at me!" Kaoru's eyes opened very slightly so Kenshin could she her beautiful blue eyes. She smiled and closed her eyes fully as her hand became limp in Kenshin's hand and slowly fell back onto the futon. In complete shock and dismay, Kenshin kept grabbing her hand to place it back on his cheek, but it kept falling back down. _No, this can't be! She is too strong to simply die here! _Tears were flowing out of his eyes as Kenji's cries got louder. However, Kenji's cries could not be heard by his father. "Kaoru. Please. Please wake up. I'm begging you. Don't leave me." Tears were dripping on to Kaoru's pale smiling face with no signs of waking ever again. _Oh Kami, why are you doing this to me? Why!? _

_I'm a wanderer Miss Kaoru. And it's time to wander again. _

As Kenshin's head lifted up, he caught a glance at Kaoru's calendar that she always kept in her room. His face froze in horror and disbelief when he saw the date, only causing more heartache and more tears to fall from his eyes:

May 14th.

Kenshin's world shattered.

**A/N:** Please don't hate me too much. I love Kaoru, but in order for my story to work, I needed her to die. It's the reason why I chose the quote that is at the beginning, because I can relate to what the narrator is saying. Since this is my first story, I would really appreciate feedback. Please no flames, but constructive criticism is more than welcome. I'll see you at the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Here's the next chapter, with a few new changes to it. Enjoy! Review and Comment please!

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

Chapter 1

"_But the world was a tomb to me, a graveyard of broken statues, and each of those statues resembled her face.__ " – Louis from 'Interview with a Vampire'_

Kenshin awoke only to be greeted by miserable silence. He did not greet the morning with a smile. No, he hadn't smiled since she died.

_Dr. Gensai quickly ran over to where Kaoru lay to try to check for any signs to help make sense of what had happened. Meanwhile, Yahiko and Misao ran to Kenshin, who was in such a devastated state of shock that he was not moving. Yahiko came around to face Kenshin, while Misao was able to take Kenji out of his grasp to try to calm down his cries. "Kenshin! Kenshin, speak to us! What's going on?" But Kenshin made no indication that he had heard a word being said to him. Instead, he continued to stare at the calendar with the date that would continue to haunt him. _

"_But I came home…" he said barely above a whisper. _

"_Came home?" Yahiko looked around to try to find what Kenshin was staring off at, and came upon the calendar. "Kami, not again." _

"_What is it?" Misao asked as she finally calmed down Kenji. _

_Yahiko somberly looked in her direction, "May 14__th__," and looked back at the calendar. Misao followed his gaze. She knew immediately what that date had meant to everyone in the dojo and somberly looked in Kenshin's direction, who would only brokenly whisper "but I came home," as tears poured down his face. _

It had been three years since Kaoru's death, and Kenshin had become like the living dead. His once bright eyes had become dull. His face had aged considerably. He rarely spoke, rarely ate, and slept most of the time. The dojo would seem as if it were abandoned if Yahiko did not move back in to take care of it. All the students that he and Kaoru had received all left shortly after her death. Kenji had gone to live with Misao, Aoshi, and the rest at the Aoi-Ya for Yahiko did not know the first thing about taking care of a small child, and Kenshin's mind was so shattered that he couldn't even recognize Kenji.

_Kaoru had been cleaned and laid back on her futon, with a cloth now covering her face to officially mark that she had passed. Kenshin had managed to stop his tears for the moment and knelt by Kaoru, never breaking his gaze from her body. He made to response to anyone, even when they offered to let him hold Kenji, hoping that would dull some of the pain. _

"_I'm afraid it would be unwise to leave Kenji with him in this state. I fear the child would not last long" Dr Gensai mentioned in a very grave voice. _

"_I'll move back into the dojo then and take care of them both," Yahiko stated _

"_No," everyone turned to see Aoshi slowly join the rest of the group. "Misao and I will take the child with us back to the Aoi-Ya. He can receive better care and nutrition there." _

"_Why you…" Yahiko angrily made his way to Aoshi, ready to punch him across that cold stare of his "you saying I'm not good enough to watch over Kenji?!" _

"_That's not what Aoshi-sama is saying at all," Misao came in front of Yahiko and gently placed a hand on his shoulders. "I know you have the best intentions at heart, but think about it, do you really know how to take care of a newborn? Do you understand how heavy that responsibility is?" Yahiko started to calm down as he stared at Misao. "We may be ninjas but we are also a family, and we would be able to each have a part in taking care of Kenji instead of relying on one person alone." _

"_I guess you're right, but I'm still moving back in. I'm not leaving Kenshin by himself. I owe Kaoru that much." _

"_Then it is settled. After the funeral, Aoshi-sama and I take Kenji with us."_

Kenshin had moved back into his old room and never set foot inside of Kaoru's room. The memories were far too painful. However, this did not stop them from plaguing his mind.

"_I-I love you- so much Kenshin." "Stay with me Kaoru. I can't lose you! Please look at me!" Kaoru's eyes opened very slightly so Kenshin could she her beautiful blue eyes. She smiled and closed her eyes fully as her hand became limp in Kenshin's hand and slowly fell back onto the futon._

_Why can't these memories just leave me alone! _Kenshin had cried so much and so often after her death that eventually his tears had dried up and had lost the ability to cry.

Kenshin then heard the sound of footsteps approaching his room. _Yahiko no doubt._ Instead of getting up to greet him, Kenshin rolled over on his futon. His door slid open. "Morning Kenshin. It's time for you to get up." Silence was all that greet Yahiko. Sighing, Yahiko knelt down next to Kenshin and lightly shook him. "You need to get up. You have a guest coming today." _A guest? I have no one I want to see._ "I'm going to make breakfast, and I would rather have you join me in the kitchen for once." With that, Yahiko left to head down to the kitchen. Kenshin merely closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

"_Kenshin…" _

_Leave me alone. _

"_Kenshin…" _

_Stop it! _

"Kenshin!"

Kenshin's eyes snapped open and looked over to find Yahiko once again kneeing beside him. "I've been calling you for awhile now. Breakfast is ready. Now get up and join me in the kitchen."

"No." Kenshin's voice was hardly any louder than a whisper. "I'm tired."

_It's enough. I'm so tired. Just let me sleep. _

Yahiko couldn't take anymore.

"THAT"S IT KENSHIN!" He grabbed the blankets off Kenshin and threw them across the room. "It's been three years! You have to move on! We all miss Kaoru. She was like an older sister to me, maybe even a mother." Yahiko had visibly started to tremble. "But I'm not going to waste away my life because she wouldn't want that! Plus, you still have your son! Kenji needs his father! It's about time you wake up and realize there is someone who needs you!" As Yahiko stormed out, he could feel hot tears running down his face. _Damn it. I thought I wasn't going to cry anymore._

Kenshin, however, seemed unfazed. _Someone needs me? Impossible. Those most important to me always leave. I have no one left to protect. _He then drifted off back to sleep.

_Kenshin was once again sitting under that tree, his sword resting against his shoulder, and the snow continuing to fall heavily around him. He lifted his head, expecting to see Tomoe standing there like she always did, but she was not. There was nothing around him except the falling snow. He sighed and lowered his head back down. Staring at the snow, something caught his eye. A small, pink sakura petal slowly landed right in front of him. Kenshin slowly reached out a hand to try to pick it up…_

Kenshin awoke to the sound of something running around the dojo. _What on earth is that? Maybe a dog got in here. _Curiosity getting the better on him, Kenshin slowly got up and walked around trying to find the source of the noise. _It sounds like it's coming from the training hall._ Kenshin slowly walked in the direction of the training hall. Usually, Kenshin would have suspected the noise to be Yahiko considering that he still practiced every day, but this noise was too soft to be a teenage boy practicing swordsmanship.

Kenshin opened the training hall door, and his eyes widened.

"I has you now!"

"_Hold it right there! Don't move Battousai the Manslayer!" _

In front of him was a vision of Kaoru with that look of determination she had on her face the first day they met. _Kaoru? _Slowly, the image faded into the figure of a small boy no older than three with fiery red hair and deep blue eyes. His eyes held that same determination as Kaoru. Slowly, the determination in the boy's eyes changed into that of pure joy and excitement.

"Papa!" To say that Kenshin was shocked would be an understatement.

"Pa-Papa?"

**A/N: **See you at the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Here's the first official new chapter to this story. Enjoy! Review and Comment please!

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

Chapter 2

"_She's coming back. Maybe not as herself, but she's gonna come back." -Mark in 'The Good Son'_

"Kenji! Are you in here?"

Yahiko walked into the training hall to find Kenshin and his miniature clone staring at each other. Yahiko smirked, "so you finally decided to get out of bed huh?"

Kenshin didn't even acknowledge Yahiko. His full attention was focused on the small boy in front of him. It was as if he was staring at himself at the age of three, except this child had the big, beautiful blue eyes that had belonged to Kaoru.

"Wh-who is this child?" Kenshin slowly turned to face Yahiko.

Yahiko sighed, _well at least now Kenshin actually sees Kenji. Maybe now he will finally be able to move on._ "Kenshin let me introduce you to your son. This is Kenji."

Kenshin whipped around to face the small boy.

"_Our little Kenji." _

"My son?"

"Papa! Play with Kenji!" The little boy was too excited for words. This was the first time that his father was in the same room as him. He ran up and grabbed Kenshin's leg.

"Play! Play!"

"Kenji, you know you have to use your inside voice while in the house," a female voice said coming from the entrance to the dojo. Kenshin looked up just as Kenji giggled.

"Mis-o!" Kenji ran up to greet Misao. "Mis-o! Look! Papa is here!"

Misao softly giggled. "Yes Kenji, I can see your Papa quite well," she turned to Yahiko. "Would you mind taking him outside for a while? Himura and I need to talk."

"But I wanna play with Papa now," Kenji pouted up at Misao. Yahiko shook his head and chuckled.

"Come on Kenji, play with me for a bit. How about some hide and seek?" Kenji's eyes light up as he squealed and ran out of the dojo, with Yahiko right behind.

Kenshin's gaze followed them until they disappeared from view. He turned back to Misao. She had changed quite a bit from the last time he remembered her. In place of her usually outfit, there was a simple navy kimono, and her long braid was now up in a simple bun.

"Mis-o?"

Misao giggled. "Yes, Kenji has trouble with 'ao' in words. You should here his nickname for Aoshi-sama, it is quite adorable."

Kenshin slowly looked back out into the direction of the garden to see Yahiko searching around for Kenji.

"Would you like to sit outside for our talk? I know you didn't see Kenji the last time he was here."

"He's been here before?"

Misao nodded. "Aoshi-sama and I like to bring him down here since this is technically his home. We've been hoping that one day you would come out and see him. Guess you finally got the message."

Kenshin's eyes faltered slightly as he looked back at Kenji. "So Aoshi is also here?"

"Actually Aoshi-sama is still back in Kyoto at the moment, but will be joining us at some point in time. We agreed it was necessary for you and Kenji to actually start bonding. Aoshi-sama and I can't look after him forever. After all, we aren't Kenji's parents. So to help ease the transition, we will be moving into the dojo for a bit until you are comfortable with Kenji and can handle him by yourself."

"What!?" Kenshin looked at Misao as if she had grown multiple heads. How could she think that he could take care of a small child?

"Don't worry Himura, will be right here to help you."

Kenshin's face darkened. "Even if I could take care of him, he'll just end up…"

"Papa! Mis-o! Look!" Both Kenshin and Misao turned to look at the little boy. Kenji had found a good sized stick and was waving it around it what appeared to be attempted swordsmanship. "Kenji is a samurai!"

Misao burst out laughing at the scene before him. "That's the spirit Kenji! But aren't you supposed to be hiding from Yahiko right now?" Kenji's eyes grew big when suddenly Yahiko swooped him up.

"Found you Kenji-chan! Didn't think you could hide from me forever did you?"

"Yahiko-niichan! I is a samurai! Put me down!" Kenji began to squirm in Yahiko's arms. As soon as Kenji's feet were back on the ground, he grabbed the stick he had been using and attempted to swing at Yahiko, causing Yahiko and Misao to starting laughing.

Kenshin on the other hand was staring at his son in amazement. While Kenji wasn't performing anything close to correct stances, he had a look in his eyes that said he meant business. It was then that Kaoru's image began to form where Kenji was standing again. It was only when Yahiko rubbed Kenji's head that Kenshin came back into reality.

"Well I need to get going. Tsubame needs me to help out at the Akabeko this afternoon. I'll be back sometime this evening." Yahiko walked up to Kenji and patted his head. "Be good for your dad and Misao, Kenji."

Kenji nodded. "Kenji be good!" Yahiko smiled and walked out to make his way to the Akabeko. Suddenly Kenji whipped around "Kenji found something pretty! I wanna show you!" Kenji took off running as fast as his little legs could take him.

Curious, Misao got up to follow him. Kenshin hesitated for a minute then stood up to follow. As he caught up with Kenji and Misao, his breath caught in his throat. The door to Kaoru's room was open. Kenji came out running towards his father.

"Look! It's pretty!" In his little fists, which were held up to Kenshin, was Kaoru's favorite indigo ribbon. Misao looked at the scene between Kenji and Kenshin in a bit of panic.

"Kenji, that's-"

"What were you doing in that room?" Kenshin's voice came out barely as a whisper.

"Kenji was hiding from Yahiko-"

"Never go in that room." Kenshin's warned with a cold tone to it.

"Himura, he didn't mean any-"

"NEVER GO IN THAT ROOM!"

Kenji dropped the ribbon at Kenshin's feet and ran off crying. Misao looked over at Kenshin and saw that his bangs were once again covering his eyes, and she glared.

"Himura, Kenji is three years old. You weren't the only one that lost her." Misao then raced after Kenji. Kenshin clenched his trembling fists, headed back to his room and slowly closed the door.

**A/N: **See you at the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has decided to favorite/follow this story. I'm glad you're enjoying my story so far. And a special thanks to P.P.V.V, who has reviewed every single chapter. **

**I know Kenshin was a little OOC last chapter, but he is a grieving husband so I can sort of get away with it right? Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

Chapter 3

"_Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.__"- __Marcus Aurelius__  
_0o0

Misao had finally managed to calm down a hysterical Kenji. _What the hell was Himura thinking? There's no way Kenji could have known what that room was or what it meant._ _Kami give me strength._

"There, there Kenji it's alright."

"Why was Papa so angry?"

"That room just makes your Papa very sad, that's why he was so angry."

"Why does it make Papa sad?" Kenji looked up confused at Misao as he did a couple of sniffles.

"Because it reminds him of your Mama, Kenji. He misses her a lot."

Kenji saw how Misao's face suddenly grew sad. She had told him that she and his Mama were best friends, but never actually told him what his Mama was like. Kenji had questioned it.

"_Your Papa should tell you about your Mama first."_

"_Why can't Mis-o tell Kenji?"_

"_Your Papa knew your Mama better than anyone, so it's only fair that he should get to tell you about her first. Don't you agree Kenji?"_

"_I guess so," Kenji reluctantly agreed but still not entirely convinced._

"Kenji doesn't want Papa to be sad. I go say sorry to Papa." Kenji stated.

"Good boy Kenji." Misao slowly urged Kenji back in the direction of Kenshin's room. Even for such a young age, Kenji was able to read emotions on the people around him very well.

0o0

Kenshin didn't even bother lying back down. Instead he took up the position of leaning against the wall, which he wasn't in the habit of doing since before his marriage to Kaoru.

_Better to scare him off now before it's too late, _he thought grimly. _He is better off with Aoshi and Misao-dono._

A quite knock was heard outside his door. Puzzled, Kenshin stood up and slowly opened the door. Kenji stood with his head bowed low with his fingers fiddling together.

"Kenji is sorry Papa. He won't go in there again since it makes Papa sad."

Kenshin was shocked. He was the one that had lashed out and needed to apologize, not his son.

"No Kenji, …this one is sorry. This one should not have yelled at you."

Kenji looked up at his father, but could not see his eyes, for they were hidden behind his bangs. Kenji moved to lightly grab his father's hakama, causing Kenshin to jerk his head up. As their eyes connected, Kenji offered up a little smile. A smile that Kaoru had so often given to Kenshin when she knew no words could help. Kenji released Kenshin from his tiny grip, and walked away.

Kenshin was once again stunned at the similarities between Kenji and Kaoru. It was almost as if they were one in the same. _All the more reason why he should leave_ Kenshin thought to himself. He didn't even have to look up to know Misao was standing there watching him.

"It is a mistake to bring him here Misao-dono. I will do him more harm than good the longer he is around me."

"That is not true Himura. Kenji needs his father, and you need Kenji. This is the only way the grief and pain will lessen."

Kenshin said nothing. Instead, he turned around to head back into his room.

"I will call when supper is ready Kenshin."

Kenshin didn't respond and closed the door. Misao softly sighed and went off to find Kenji.

0o0

Dinner was a quiet affair. Kenshin kept thinking about that smile that Kenji had given him, and would occasionally glance in his son's direction in wonder. As if sensing his father's gaze, Kenji would look at his father. Kenshin would then quickly look away.

"This one will take care of the dishes." Kenshin stood and made his way to the kitchen, if only to get away from Kenji's presence for a moment.

_Don't even think about it. This one's past is proof that I cannot get close to him._

After the last dish was put away, Kenshin made his way to sit outside. The leaves had been turning colors for a few weeks now, and were falling off the trees earlier that day.

"Papa."

Kenshin looked over to see Kenji holding out a bright red leaf. He looked at his son quizzically.

"Gift for Papa, since Papa and Kenji are together now." Kenji's eyes sparkled as he presented his humble gift to his father. Kenshin slowly took hold of the leaf and stared at it in his hand.

"Why would you want to be together with me," Kenshin whispered. He had not intended for his son to hear him.

"Kenji wants to be with Papa. Papa is Papa, and Kenji loves him."

_I want…I want to stay with you, Kenshin._

Kenshin whipped his head back to face his son. Once again, that same smile was upon Kenji's face. Slowly Kenji approached Kenshin. His tiny hand reached out as Kenshin stiffened, and slowly patted Kenshin on his scarred cheek.

"Night Papa," and Kenji slowly walked to his room.

Kenshin's eyes followed Kenji all the way to the end of the hall until Kenji went into his room. Slowly his eyes came back to the leaf.

_Maybe, just maybe…_ Kenshin's heart barely dared to hope.

"Goodnight Kenji," Kenshin whispered so softly that he barely heard himself say it. Misao stood behind him, observing the entire scene. A slow, gentle smile grew on her face.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you at the next chapter! Please review, it gives me the motivation to get chapters up sooner. :)**


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